Writing and Reading

I’m going to challenge myself big time here. There are plenty of sketches of dialogue out there that I practically idolize as a writer, what with the play of words and the endless back-and-forth. It’s genius. It makes me laugh. They’re so good. And here, I sound like a veritable dinosaur, ’cause I’m talking about bits of writing done in the ’40s from some of the greatest comedians. In my opinion, really stretching words out and combining them for other meanings and structuring an utterly dynamic and fluid and fresh and simply majestic piece of dialogue is such a great way to exercise those sexy writing muscles. I’m talkin’ BIG BICEPS, baby.

Allow me to show you an example…. One of my favorites. Many of you may recognize it.

I always smile when I see this sketch, because I love these two guys. And so here’s my challenge. It’ll be my tribute to them.

I’m going to work on a piece of dialogue that really uses words in so many multiple meanings that you can do nothing but laugh and shake your head. I don’t know how long it’ll take me. But I’m going to do it. Hopefully, it’ll be just as genius as my role models of comedy, Abbot and Costello. You guys hit a home run in my book.

My list has grown a little larger. Starting from the beginning….

1. Dominoes

2. Farge

3. Glabberfasted

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4. Feminomenal -

A term I just used recently, which I’m going to decide will mean specifically that a woman is awesome just for being a woman. Sort of like ‘femininely phenomenal’. ‘Phenomenal in a feminine way’. Hence… Feminomenal.

5. Rawk -

Verb form of the term ‘to rock’, as in to ‘be totally awesome’ ex: You rock! Only the change in spelling suggests pure exaggeration. For instance: your grandmother gets up on stage and does karaoke–you say, “you rock, grandma!” Now, Metallica gets on stage and blows your eardrums into smithereens and you hear the bloody screaming peel the paint off the walls–you say, “YOU RAWK, METALLICA!”

6. Inboxitis -

From a faithful and far-from-sane fellow contributing writer. Even I know what this stands for. It is a condition where the person cannot help but constantly check his/her e-mail INBOX every ten seconds until his/her face turns blue. Usually associated with high blood pressure and a voracious need to eat chocolate.

7. Postophobia -

Again, an easy one–also from aforementioned contributing writer. In fact, I think I suffer from this condition, although it’s a condition I fully appreciate. It’s the need to constantly vent about the woes of writing, to constantly banter and rant and rave about nothing and everything that has to do with anything and all things writing or reading or just plain randomness (like the “Rejected” cartoon I posted about a month ago). No known cures (none I know of anyway).

This’ll be fun. It sort of just came to me. I like playing games, as you all well know. And so these will be short posts on riddles that have to do with grammar.

I dare any of you to try and guess these riddles. This is the first one, first post:

I have a point at the bottom,

hooked at the top,

and I’m always looking for answers: what am I?

Show me what you got, people. Leave comments with your answers if you’re so daring. These riddles are solely mine, no one else’s. So give me your best shot!