Writing and Reading

Writer’s Block has returned to wreak havoc on our sacred land of Wannahackaloogie, and its tutu is laying waste to many innocent people. It’s up to us to stand and fight.

And ladies and gentlemen, I have found the ultimate weapon against it. I climbed the Mountain of Pumpkin Boobies, past the Swamp of Singing Gourds to find the ultimate weapon. It is this….

Networking.

That’s right. It’s as simple as that.

Along with my last post on writer’s block, the reason I’m writing this is how uplifting, enjoyable, encouraging and enlightening it is to specifically network with another author about work, about life. For a writer, life is work. And vice versa.

Actually, ‘network’ is too harsh a word. Sometimes a good talk is all it takes. On the phone. You know who you are, fellow colleague. And friend. I thank you. From the bottom of my heart. I won’t mention your name–don’t worry.

We talked for almost three hours! And let me tell you–after our conversation, I felt that rush of power from within burn through my arms, out into my fingers. It crackled like energy. It begged to reach for the keyboard. I felt the urge…to write.

I laughed, I contemplated, I closed my eyes and listened. We talked and talked about our work, bouncing ideas, bouncing laughs, living life. That’s writing: life. Live life. Life is writing. Life is expression.

It made my day within this cold world of troubles and worry. Sometimes those things can arm the Writer’s Block Beast in the worst way. That’s when we call for reinforcements. That’s why we have fellow authors out there who understand our power, our vision. They know what we know. We know what they know. They are kindred. They are like brothers and sisters. They are like family.

Again, I won’t say your name, fellow author. It was awesome talking to you. You’ve helped me burn the Writer’s Block Beast with my blaster. BAM! BAM! BAM! And, yes, that’s a lot of B’s. Can’t help it–I love alliteration.

And here it is, friends. This is my list. I pay homage to you, Genevieve. I’m pretty sure you won’t agree with all of these on my list (as some of them were on your WORST list). And I’m all right with that. But I shall explain my reasoning, too.

While some of the cult classics we think of do tend to be, well, ‘cheesy’. We do have to remember the difference between gross, plasticky, processed cheese and some good ol’ fashioned hardcore parmigiano-reggiano (mmmmmmmm). Sometimes ‘cheese’ is good (Vitamin A, Vitamin D, protein, shall I go on?).

What makes a ‘cheesy’ cult classic fantasy film stand out as one of the ‘best’ are several things–

The premise. A memorable musical score. Memorable actors. Groundbreaking effects.

Keep in mind why I use the term ‘memorable’. In any screenplay, there are these memorable gems that stand the test of time. We usually equate those gems with some of the most memorable actors that define our culture, define Hollywood. That, my friends, echoes immortality.

So when you see some of my choices on my list and gawk in sheer dismay, keep my words in mind. You might’ve not liked some of my picks. But, without a doubt, the fact that we all have heard of some of these films, that they’ve stood the test of time, is a testament to their honor in being a part of my list.

So without further ado, adieu, my friends, as I leave you with these stunning films. Behold! My list of the BEST Fantasy films ever made–

************************************************************* 

“Ladyhawke”

An ancient quality to the score, smart effects, a dark quality–a love story, most importantly–you can’t beat this powerful tale of forbidden love. Rutger Haur as the black knight Etienne Navarre–mysterious, silent, strong, savage. Michelle Pfeiffer as the compassionate ‘ladyhawke’ Isabeau–luminous, free, wild, lovely, fragile. Matthew Broderick as Phillipe ‘the Mouse’–comical, sweet, resourceful, cunning, quick. Need I say more?

“The NeverEnding Story”

The original spawned one of the best theme songs ever made for a fantasy film. The score itself takes you away into one of the greatest adventures to remember, that we all need to remember–simply put, reading a book. Just the idea alone sings of power. Wipe your face clean of the sequels, people. This original film with the courageous yet fresh-faced warrior-boy Atreyu and our lovable, dreaming child we all identify with, Bastian, and the oddly yet pleasantly attractive and sweet-like-white-chocolate childlike empress remind us how important it is to remember our strength in imagination, and that the Nothing should never swallow it up.

“Labyrinth”

Two words, Jennifer Connelly. Hot. Two more words, David Bowie. Fantabulous. Who can’t love Jim Henson and his puppets, the memorable score, the whimsical story itself and all of its parts weaved together? I’m sorry, forget the cheesiness. Yes, they’re puppets. Done well, I might add. But to give you an idea of how infectious this film is–type in ‘Labyrinth’ on YouTube and watch all the hits you get on fan films, fan fictions and music videos dedicated to this movie. The story itself will live forever. You do, indeed, remind me of the babe. The babe with the power. The power of voodoo. You do. Remind me of the babe.

“The Dark Crystal”

I can only say one amazing thing about this film. NOT ONE–I repeat–NOT ONE human actor was seen in the whole freakin’ entire film. The. Entire. Film. There’s something to be said about that. The shots with the gelflings in full-body action don’t count, because we still don’t even see their faces. We might as well call them stunt doubles. Humans were used as stunt doubles for the REAL actors–the puppets. Simply phenomenal. And, yet, again, it must be said–the score reaches into your soul and caresses your imagination with darkness….

“Conan the Barbarian”

Simply epic. Raw. Real. I’m telling you–there was no cheese in this. And you have to love the Governor of California. He sure knows how to swing a broadsword around. Once again, the score–dear God, the score. It brings out the savagery in you, it does. Makes you want to eat raw meat, it does. It makes you think of campfires and harsh cold, battered muscles, torture, death, dark magic. Not for the timid, for sure. But that’s part of its…well…’charm’. Oh, and the sequel’s not bad, too.

“Time Bandits”

Anyone who doesn’t love Terry Gillian should be shot, hung, stabbed, poisoned, groin-pulled, ear-twisted, nose-pinched with a rusty wrench and sprayed with skunk juice. And Sean Connery was in the film, too! What the hell? What really sparkled in this utterly ’strange’ film (Terry Gillian’s trademark, indeed, people) was the concept behind it. God and the devil was central in all of it. And surrounding all of it was the concept of…time. I just found it remarkable. Yes, whimsical. Yes, memorable. And who here loves Monty Python? Yes. I rest my case.

“The Adventures of Baron Munchausen”

(see above comments about Terry Gillian as this film was also done by him in the same fashion–utterly strange, but whimsical, comical, odd, fantastical, memorable, beautiful in design, plus Robin Williams was in it and utterly stole the show. Oh, and Monty Python yadda yadda yadda.)

“Krull”

Remember what I said about cheese, people. So the effects were kind of…weird. But that was the beauty of this film! Completely memorable! I can’t ever get that picture out of my head–the image of the ‘glaive’ spinning around like a little boomerang, killing constant creatures easy-peasy. Lasers, odd creatures, great characters, and, SERIOUSLY, one of the most kick-ass soundtracks you can hear. Plus I want a ‘fire mare’ so badly. It’s like owning a muscle car only without the bad gas mileage.

“Clash of the Titans”

Okay. Yes. The special effects, at least looking back now, were like watching in ludicrous speed the paint dry and decompose over time through a nuclear winter. Wretched. Again, though, part of its charm. The reason? The actors were simply phenomenal! Burgess Meredith, people! Seriously! And I’m telling you, Sir Laurence Olivier really isn’t human. He is, indeed, the king of the Greek gods, Zeus. No question. This film was how I learned of Pegasus. This film was how I learned of Medusa. It was epic, it was powerful. To see the Greek gods in their majesty made me want to rise up in the air and crackle with electricity, feel the rage of gods in my veins. Feel the triumph. Maybe even cut Medusa’s head off. Blow off some steam.

“The Princess Bride”

The best part about this film was the simple fact that it was actually set in a modern-day boy’s little room. The film opened up with one of those classic baseball computer games we used to love when we were kids, plus the Savage dude from “The Wonder Years”. What? A fantasy film? This is not. Oh, but it is! About 95% of the whole film sits in that fantasy world of two lands, Gilder and Floren. I’m talkin’ shrieking eels, an albino dwarf, R.O.U.S’s, giants, pirates, torture, a prince named Humperdink (had to be gay, I swear–he even looked and acted gay). And honestly, the kind of dialogue, screenplay action we saw from all the characters, ranging from Inigo Montoya versus Wesley, Fezzik. EVERYONE. Let’s just say the word–ingenious. How about another word? Timeless? Okay, as you wish….

“The Lord of the Rings Trilogy” (Peter Jackson)

This is number 11. Or 1. Take your pick. All these films are great. They don’t even need to be ranked. But I broke through a top ‘ten’ here for a reason. I’m not simply about the classics. There are many other fantasy films worthy of praise out there. But let’s face it–our raging director deity Peter Jackson practically died, descended to Hell and ascended back into the director’s chair without getting a single haircut and shaving at least ONCE to bring us probably the greatest trilogy adaptation in the history of trilogy adaptations. J.R.R. Tolkien, I assure you, has bawled his ass off at the stunning work Jackson has done. Total valentine to Middle Earth and our fuzzy little hobbits. We love you!

*************************************************************

And there you have it, kids. Be whisked away into your own fantasies now. And don’t forget to be confident as you pass through the first gate toward the Southern Oracle.