Dialogue within a literary work is an interesting creature. An intriguing creature. We identify with it so well. When we read the words within a quotation, we can hear that character’s voice so clearly. The characters are right next to us. Talking to us even. Only we’re not really there. We’re watching through some divine window, watching them talk to us with their sweeping words, their nuances, their imperfections. We see their emotions–we see how they stammer, how they scream, how they cry. It truly is a beautiful thing. Because dialogue itself happens to be one of the most important parts of making a piece alive–
But let me tell you, real dialogue is not like story dialogue! It’s kind of funny when you think about it.
This topic came to me while at work, serving customers at the grocery store. You see, I’m a cashier (awesome wretched writer by night, like Batman a superhero). But let me tell you about one specific worker there. They are among some of the most patient, sharpest people on the planet, in my opinion. They also have eyes like hawks. They’re quick on their feet. And their way of speaking matches that of any professional government speaker–our President Obama would quake in his cool shoes at the sight of any of these workers I’m referring to.
They are called….
GREETERS
You heard me. Greeters. I’m not even kidding! Their minds are so sharp that they could cut through steel, by sheer will of the mind, even using wet pieces of cheddar cheese.
Let me illustrate to you just what it reads like to have a conversation with one of these greeters. It truly is a wondrous experience–
“Okay, like, seriously, Pierre, I mean, she–thank you, have a good night–is so crazy, but I love her!–have a good night–and she drives me–have a good night, thank you, thank you, have a good night, thank you–crazy, just crazy. So we were talk–have a good night–ing, and yeah, then she started yell–thank you–ing, and let me tell you, Pierre, I wanted to bash her head with a tack–thank you, thank you, thank you, have a good night, have a good night, have a good night, have a good night–hammer.”
Now…a normal person would look at that piece of dialogue and feel the tumor growing in his or her brain. A cancerous growth the size of South America would grow faster than scrambling eggs after conversing with a greeter while they’re working. Trust me. I already have several cancers in my brain. Luckily, they’re all benign.
Point: what I’ve just told you: that’s real dialogue. That’s everyday dialogue. That’s how we talk. The way grocery store greeters talk is just one example. Try listening to three teenage girls strolling down a busy city street on a Friday night, and you’ll think you’re listening to The Discovery Channel, a documentary on the mating rituals of birds. It’s not pretty (although the girls might be). That’s real dialogue.
What you have to understand, though, is when it comes to story dialogue, the job of the writer is taking that real dialogue, presenting it, refining it, crystallizing it–so that when a reader takes it in, the words are clearly heard. Story dialogue is dialogue without all the other noise. The writer zeroes in on the characters. The world becomes them. All you hear are their words. You don’t hear the ums and uuuuhs and the asides and the scratchy throats and funny little nanosecond laughs and EVERYTHING ELSE. You hear what matters. To the story. To the plot.
I love hearing about how important dialogue is. I love the challenges it presents, too. How we judge what authentic dialogue really is, archaic dialogue–just remember the differences, the nuances. Remember that your reader needs to understand. So before you try to make your dialogue blindingly REALISTIC. Just remember–
You’re telling a story. Not a documentary. Thank you, have a good night, thank you, have a good night, thank you, have a good night.
(I love those). Seriously, people, explore–have at it. It’s all here. Consider this your groundwork, base, starting point. I think from time to time, I’ll post articles with the links to several past works written in my “Unforgivable Rantings” as a guide for you readers that’ll help you in your journey through my insanity.
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