Dec 31 2008
2009: A New Year’s Retribution
You all know me by now–at least I hope. Any of you new readers out there still in the dark? Sorry. Since it’s so late at night right now, and I have to be up early in the morning for work, I can’t post links to previous articles written on my blog to give you a little inside info on the “Wretched Writer”. But I will say this:
It most definitely has been an ‘interesting’ year. ‘Interesting’ as in rough. Difficult.
I’ve been challenged this year–mentally, spiritually, emotionally. Even physically. I won’t lie–it hasn’t been the easiest or best of years. But I’ve certainly learned a lot. I’m still learning. I hope I learn for the best. And not for the worst.
Aside from my regular day job, the grocery store scheduled me from 5 to 12:30 AM. I’ll miss a New Year’s celebration. Not that I’m missing much. These days, celebration has become sort of a shadow, lingering in the back. I’m faced with more important things other than ‘celebrating’. Serious things. So I’m not bitter (although sometimes I think I am).
Which is why I’m writing this post….
My tribute to a new year.
Sorry if I don’t sound as chipper as usual. I’m rather somber right now. My only hope, my only wish–is that this new year brings a sort of retribution, a rising of the ashes, if you will, of my life. Call it a recovery of a life crippled this past year. That would be a triumph. That makes the new year sing for me. That’s my hope.
I don’t hope for a New Year’s Resolution. I hope for the title of this article instead. I want to live again the way I used to before. I want my new year to be really…new.
I want to be renewed. Vindicated.
Are you sure you don’t mean “restoration”? “Retribution” would imply a big “f-you” to the girl.
Ooooooooohhh…. You’ve presented a relatively difficult word choice for me. Hmm…. I can see the implication although that’s definitely not my intention. I dunno. I have to think about that one….
I can’t help but feel a lot of anger and injustice, so the word ‘retribution’ comes up a lot in my head; but at the same time, I want to be restored. Hmm…. let’s discuss! We’ll start a dialogue here. COMMENTS, everyone. Anyone have opinions? Please write up some comments. Me like comments.
I understand that you’re angry, but do you really want vengeance? Because the tone of this post doesn’t sound like vengeance. And if you DO want vengeance, how would you plan on achieving it?
Absolutely not. It would never satisfy to want vengeance. But I certainly feel a need to be justified, to feel like I deserve a chance, to believe that I’ve struggled enough. Hopefully.
You see, the thing is I, no matter what, will still love my wife–even though she doesn’t care one bit for me anymore. The anger I feel–I guess I’ve placed it on the world and how unfair it can be. My life was taken away and replaced with one that I never chose. It’s unfair. And I want to be vindicated by being given an opportunity to make a new life, at least. I’ve been working so hard, and it gets harder the more I work. I’m emotionally and physically exhausted. I’m stressed beyond belief. I’m just wondering if something will break–will I be able to make a life without worrying about whether or not I can pay for my son, pay my bills on time, buy my own groceries, without working 62 hours a week? You can call THAT my vindication. My justice.
You’re presenting interesting comments…. And what makes it REALLY interesting is you’re leaving yourself anonymous…. Which makes me wonder who you are :-).
Hang in there Pierre, you are better off without her, rather you think so or not. You don’t want to be associated with anyone that would do anything like that to you. I love ya man.
I know who you are, anonymous reader….
I’m impressed! I thought posting from my uncle’s computer would have kept me anonymous. How did you figure me out?
As it is, I can still remain anonymous for your other readers - so I shall.
My blog stats can track those URL numbers….
By the way…. I’d like you to e-mail me someday to let me know who you are…. *eyes you*. Because your last comment shows up as a different URL number. You’re crafty and clever…. :-). You like to stay anonymous, don’t you….
I do! Anonymity allows me to say anything I want without any judgments based on gender, ethnicity, religious views, age, etc.
That being said, of course my URL is different - I was only at my uncle’s house for the holidays with the family…now the holidays are over :-p
You like that little town up north where you live, by the way? …..
I do, it’s beautiful up here. Just too cold.