Writing and Reading

“I know if I’m gonna

have any life anymore,

it’s because I’m willing

to fight and die for that inch…

because that’s what living is!”

- Al Pacino

Like I promised….

I had that meeting today. That meeting about the ‘conflict’, the one where I would need to make a decision about my life. And I’ve promised to let you all know what it had to do with.

I thought I was going to generally be very emotional about it–

The truth is I don’t know what to think. I sort of wish time would just…stop. Every day that passes brings me closer to something I don’t want to face. I don’t want to face this decision. It’ll be the worst decision I’ll ever have to make, probably. That goes for either way. Like I said, I’m at a crossroads.

The meeting was with a local petty officer here at Grand Rapids.

I’m eligible to enlist in the Navy.

To make a long story short, the Navy might possibly help bring my life back together before it drowns out. Because right now I feel like I’m drowning financially. I’m reaching for a rope, but there’s no rope. I’m drowning. This ‘opportunity’ might be my lifesaver.

I’m not going to go into detail about it, though. Just know that it is a GOOD opportunity.

My problem is, of course, the conflict. I feel like I’m split down the middle. I’m not entirely sure what to do.

Let’s play a game–this ought to be fun. I get to see who’s REALLY reading my blog, I suppose–

I want opinions–

Should I enlist in the Navy?

Comment on this post, 1-word answers only.

YES…. or NO.

I want to see just how many comments I get here. Show me the money. Show me the money like Jerry Maguire, baby. And, also, to encourage your comments, leave them COMPLETELY anonymous. I don’t want to know who you are. Just answer YES. or NO. And I’ll tabulate the scores. I’m not saying I’ll necessarily decide based on the number of votes, though….

But it’s nice to know what people think.

And seriously, folks…. I’m a nervous wreck right now. I’ve never seen so many breakouts on my forehead in my entire life. I’m a wreck. I’ve crashed in tears several times already. I’m facing the prospect of having to tell my soon-to-be ex-wife. And others. The thought makes me sick to my stomach….

But I just don’t know what else to do….

For all these months, I’ve been looking for an opportunity…something to redeem that part of my life I lost without my say in it. It’s here. Ironically, I don’t know if I should take it or not. It sucks, doesn’t it?

So help me. Please. Please comment.

Thanks. I appreciate it more than you know. Thanks.