Writing and Reading

I shall call this my super-short segments on break at the grocery store using my nifty Verizon Voyager. This is me saying “hi”. HUUWAAAH! I love my mommy and ice cream. Come and give me some sugar, baby!

Proof that alcohol has a profound effect on the capacity for irrationally rational thought and unparalleled, unprecedented discussion of an ordered chaos: four young, up-and-coming literary agents. Drinking. Together.

I’m talking about this particular article by Jofie Ferrari-Adler, laying out a remarkable Q&A between relatively new powerhouse agents Jeff Kleinman, Julie Barer, Renee Zuckerbrot and Daniel Lazar. Throw ‘em some booze, and the four of ‘em get down and dirty, discussing the publishing industry and having a few laughs in the process.

I strongly urge any writer to read up this transcription–word for word, I might add–of the long discussion these drunken agents had about the book biz. Truly eye opening.

Daniel on the left followed by Julie, Jeff and Renee. Don’t they look personable? Kind of makes you feel fuzzy inside, doesn’t it? They’re probably drunk as hell and have no idea that we’ve locked ‘em in the room for a few years to observe their behavior over that period of time. Who knows. Maybe they’ll cocoon themselves for a time and then reveal their pretty wings later.

But, seriously, read what these four wonders of the world have discussed.

This goes to say, along with many things learned from their conversation, that literary agents (especially when given booze) struggle just as much as us writers. This goes without saying I’m sure (although sometimes I think we forget) that literary agents don’t sit atop some golden tower, looking down on us writers, wondering which one of us will make it to the top.

They are on the lookout for us. They need us. You won’t believe the stories these four have told. Think about it–

The only way a literary agent makes a living is by finding writers.

“Finding” being the operative word.

Their experiences, much to my surprise, revealed to me tales of discovery not by random query letter but by stumbling onto a budding, daydreaming writer who they ran after like a coyote after a roadrunner. Only these literary agents didn’t have the Acme stuff. Let’s face it: they need talent. And sometimes talent can be hard to come by.

You can see a lot of these newer agents browsing the writing forums and schmoozing at writing conferences and universities and book fairs, keeping their eyes peeled for the next writer with promise–which could be anywhere. Not every writer’s out there writing a query. Again, think about it. I admit, I never thought of it that way; but it’s true.

That, of course, was just ONE topic the four of these agents touched on. The rest is all gold, too.

So, again, readers–read this article please. It’ll freshen your mind to the concept of the query-letter-writer-agent relationship. We’re more similar than we think. I’ll never look at vodka the same ever again. Those faces of Daniel, Renee, Jeff and Julie will appear in my head every single time I find myself swimming in liquor. Pass the big white phone, please. RALPH!