Writing and Reading

So I bet you’re all wondering how the physical went….

You already know how my test went after reading my previous post. You did read my previous post, right? Good. I thought you did. ‘Cause if you didn’t, I’d have to kill you.

Well, let me first talk about a little thing called…

DESTINY.

You knew this was comin’. Don’t be shocked. I rant. Deal with it.

Here’s the thing about destiny. You somehow know something’s coming down the road. You can’t deny that it’s the path you need to take. More importantly, when you know it’s your path, almost always, several things can get in the way.

Those things test you. Test your resolve. It becomes not only a path you take but a challenge you overcome.

The question is–do you have the strength to get past those ‘things’ that get in your way? Or do you turn back?

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I’m a 30-year-old who underwent shoulder surgery, works 66 hours a week, not in the BEST of shape and struggles every day. And I know you know why. I carry a lot of burden in my heart. That’s just the way it is. It’s not a complaint. It’s life. In many ways, I embrace it. It reminds me I’m alive. It reminds me that I am strong. And that I carry character with me.

The ‘physical’ that I took today, early in the morning (4:45 AM to be exact, not kidding), lasted about seven hours. Yes, seven hours. I don’t know if I could even call it a ‘physical’. This wasn’t like a trip to the doctor. No, no, no.

I gave a blood test, urine test, eye test, hearing test, general doctor physical with hemorrhoid check (think: spreading your ass cheeks, and you’ll get the idea behind that one) and “cough” check (ladies, ask any male friend what that is, and they’ll explain it), a LONG questionnaire about things that may disqualify me (drugs, alcohol, felonies, charges, tattoos, piercings, scars, medical history, you name it, they asked it), weight check, body fat check, exercise check (think standing in only boxers on a cold concrete floor to reveal every inch of your body just to make sure that everything ‘works’).

I think that’s it. Yes, seven hours. Of that. I was exhausted.

Now, being a 30-year-old fart, especially my worries about my shoulder, needless to say, I was indeed worried that I may fail one of these tests because I didn’t try hard enough or because I let myself slip physically. Let’s face it–I’m not a track runner. I’m 30.

Believe it or not, I passed every test.

Except one.

My eyesight.

Can you believe that? My eyesight!

By their standards, I’m too blind to enlist in the Navy. And not by much either. I missed the cutoff for lens prescription by 1 point. 1 freakin’ point. Out of all the tests–my physical history, history with the law, civilian life, physical prowess, all of that–I failed the one test that I literally have no control over, a condition I’ve had since I was maybe…5 years old? Nearsightedness.

Here’s the catch, though. And this is where the ‘destiny’ part comes in.

Because this ‘condition’ has been beyond my control, like many other possible ‘conditions’ that would otherwise disqualify anyone from the armed forces, there is this beautiful thing called a waiver. It’s a document signed by a medical professional that says it’s indeed SAFE for any such person to enlist in any branch of the armed forces regardless of any specific disqualifying condition.

A few years ago, I had my eyes checked by an opthamologist. Again…. DESTINY. There was no specific reason why I went to have my eyes checked other than to make sure that there wasn’t anything wrong with my eyes.

My eyes are perfectly healthy.

Who would’ve thought that this would ensure, this would give me the confidence, to believe that in no time at all I could receive a waiver for my nearsightedness that says my eyes are healthy, that I can function normally with contacts and glasses?

I see the road ahead of me. I know it’s my road. If me, a 30-year-old, can pass all those tests–tests that I can choose to work my hardest, some at that moment, and others throughout my life–and sit and stare at a ‘disqualification’ for something like my nearsightedness, something literally beyond my control, would I then let this ‘thing’ get in my way? Or would I turn back? Would I give up?

If anything, it’s motivated me more.

My whole life, I’ve been nearsighted. But it really hasn’t kept me from seeing. It’s never kept me down. It’s never beat me down.

This won’t keep me or beat me down either.

I unfortunately will have to wait a bit before I can choose the field I want to train in, choose my profession within the Navy. But not too long. All I need is a waiver. And I know I can get one. Needing to ‘wait’ won’t stop me. I know I’m capable. For awhile, I thought I’d crack under the pressure of worry and fear–fear that I might fail at something I tried so hard to accomplish. But I didn’t fail. I made it.

All I need to do is make it through this last ‘thing’. And this ‘thing’ almost requires no effort at all.

Again, readers…. DESTINY.

So…sorry, people, I’m still around . You have to put up with me just a LITTLE BIT LONGER. Not for long, though.

But until then, keep reading. And I’ll keep writing.