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Archive for February 1st, 2009

Feb 01 2009

Saran Wrap Porn

Published by roustan under Uncategorized Edit This

Seriously. I mean seriously. I never knew porn was so DIVERSE.

Oh, get your heads out of the gutter, people. I’m perfectly moral. I’m not a porn freak. I’m only talking about the search terms that show up on my blog stats, yet again.

First “beastmaster porn” (still don’t know what it is).

And now….

SARAN WRAP PORN

What the hell is “saran wrap porn”?? Wouldn’t the saran wrap get in the way?? Wouldn’t that cut off circulation? Why would someone on this planet be interested in “saran wrap porn”?

Moreover, why did my blog pop up on the search? Okay, yeah, I wrote a post about “saran wrap and saunas”. Got it. But when did I mention ‘porn’? Did I mention ‘porn’ on my blog some time ago?

Maybe it was because of Ellora’s Cave with Chuck Stake Laughing. Got it. That makes sense.

I love Google. I love marketing. More hits! I don’t care what kind of searches–more hits are cool. It’s like a DRUG. It’s FUN!

All right, I’m doing laundry, and I need to pick up the Sunday paper from somewhere for my roommate (she doesn’t have a car). I’m also in my PJs, but do I care? No. It’s also maybe 20 degrees outside. Do I care? No.

I’ll get right back to ya! TACO SUPREME!

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Feb 01 2009

The Title Is…

After a night out with friends, it’s amazing how your body needs to rest Laughing. I slept till 11 AM or 12, not sure. I was out late. Hey, even a “wretched writer” like me can party! *ahem* excuse me…’parteeeeeeeeeeh’.

But anyway, so this is a quick post, something that was on my mind and I’ve never discussed. It’s gonna be a quick post because I need to head to work in about 30 minutes.

The subject is ‘titles’. As in titling a work, be it a short story, novel, playwright. Whatever. It’s such an interesting phenomenon, the concept of forming a title that fits your work. Perfectly, even. How do we go about it? What makes the perfect title?

A long time ago, I read a book on creative writing (great stuff, too), and it stated some easy concepts when thinking of a title (especially for marketing purposes). Generally–and this isn’t always the case, as usual–1-word or 2-word titles fit the bill. Think about it. You’ve got Stephenie Meyer with her TWILIGHT, NEW MOON, ECLIPSE, and BREAKING DAWN. 1-word and 2-word titles generally grab you the most.

This isn’t to say, though, that more words don’t work for any book. I’ve seen plenty of titles for extremely good works that covered nearly the whole front of the book. I mean, for crying out loud, read Jen Lancaster’s BITTER IS THE NEW BLACK: CONFESSIONS OF A CONDESCENDING, EGOMANIACAL, SELF-CENTERED SMARTASS, OR, WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER CARRY A PRADA BAG TO THE UNEMPLOYMENT OFFICE (that’s a lot of capitals there). Yes, that is the WHOLE title (capitals, capitals). And (for lack of space, we’ll just call it…) BITTER IS THE NEW BLACK is actually a great read, and Lancaster’s been on a roll with a couple other books following up.

Another point–when do you come with the title? Do you think of it before you write the work? Or does it usually come to you after you’re finished? Do you think of it during the actual writing?

Rule of thumb–your ‘perfect’ title, whatever it may be, comes to you when you’ve FULLY understood what the story is about. At least this is my opinion. For those who outline (raises hand), it’s easy to come up with the title. Because I have the story crystallized in my head, for the most part. For those who don’t, they may use a working title, and then the title changes by the end of the book. It becomes more of a journey of discovery.

So don’t feel pressured to think of a title before you write. Even if you outline, don’t feel pressured to think of a title. Some stories are hard to summarize in one or two words. Even four or five words (or kajillion words like Jen Lancaster).

Just write the work. Let it speak to you.

And maybe you’ll come up with the perfect little love note for all readers to see on the cover. The perfect lure. The perfect title.

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