Writing and Reading

“Dude, I think our bus crashed

and we went to Heaven….”

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“No…. If we had, we’d have heard,

‘We are crashing,

we, we, are crashing.’”

- Nick and Shawn, staring at all the sexy girl cheerleaders.

I’m sensing that, in these past two weeks, I actually have less time for things in my life. No, seriously. I mean that. I don’t even mean it metaphorically, or even symbolically. I mean it LITERALLY. My day no longer stretches the full 24 hours. My day is actually 7 hours long, and I sleep about 3 hours of that day, leaving me 4 hours to take care of EVERYTHING I need to take care of. It’s quite interesting, actually. Coffee and I have become more intimate.

This is to update you on why I’ve been out of the ‘house’ a little bit longer.

You readers out there, who keep checking on the blog to see what good ol’ Pierre, the Wretched Writer, has written up for your eyes and mind to feast on and calm your nerves and your literary insanity, check only to find NOTHING new…. THIS is why.

Because my days have shortened. My life has changed.

I am now a PUBLISHED author instead of an ASPIRING author, and I am feeling the changes.

That and this Wednesday I’ll be getting Lasik surgery on my eyes (remember the whole Navy thing? Yeah), but that’s a whole nother story. Yeah.

So my editor, the wonderful, spiffy, spunky Lee Morris had just sent me back an edit of my first chapter revision I had sent to her over the weekend, and I just have to say WOW…. I’m a busy man, ladies and gentlemen. Busy, busy, busy, busy, busy.

Busy. BUSY.

But I’m loving it. Don’t get me wrong.

Editing is a curious creature, fraught with funny pathways filled with melting clock faces and strange anomalies that defy logic and a structured frame of thought and cohesion, and yet seem to communicate clearly the direction to be taken. It’s literally one of the only things in this world that involves change but still keeps the general entity the same. (chuckles with a nose up…. Listen to me get all philosophical).

Editing gets a bad wrap, though, honestly. Some of us are terrified of it. It’s understandable.

The one piece of advice I can give you aspiring authors, though, is….

DON’T BE INTIMIDATED.

Like climbing a rock wall, see? First off, you don’t constantly look up and see how far you have to go. DON’T do that. That’ll kill you right there. You’re constantly badgered by the stress of having so much left to go…. And your muscles are getting tired.

Instead, focus on the particular ledge you’re trying to grab on with your foot. Or your hand. Grab it. After you’ve grabbed it, scan your immediate vicinity for another handhold, something to advance you farther up. When you find it, work on latching onto that handhold or ledge. One step at a time.

Do NOT look up. Ever. Look at the wall in front of you and keep looking for the closest handholds you can find and keep working upward. Just don’t look up.

You’ll make it up the editing rock wall. I promise.

Now I’ve got to get back to work people. I only have about an hour left in my day. And it’s only 9:17 AM. Cheers.

It shows in me the passion for writing and books when I have a soft spot and memory for some of those classics I loved when I was a kid….

See if you remember these titles, kiddies!

BUNNICULA

PIERRE: A CAUTIONARY TALE IN FIVE CHAPTERS AND A PROLOGUE (no kidding, seriously–there’s a children’s book named after me!)

ANYTHING Dr. Seuss…. You name it, I’ve read it. And loved it.

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Aaaaaaaaaaaaand, of course, this is a big one. Probably for any kid….

WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE

I so loved that book, and in a way, you can say that the book was what stirred that element of fantasy inside my heart right from the beginning. It’s that book that conjured the need for whimsy inside my soul. This book spurred me, in the end, to create the world that is THE CAIN LETTERS. Now.

I bring this up only because I had the true pleasure of seeing this…. Watch….

You make my heart sing….

“Don’t throw that one out!

That’s his butt can!”

Jasmine Farr - Grand Rapids, Michigan

To follow up the last most excellent post, Bill and Ted, dude, I suppose it would make sense for me to go into more detail about the publisher that just signed me for three years as a published author….

(I still get chills saying that…. PUBLISHED AUTHOR)

Eirelander Publishing, based out of Maryland, is a smaller publishing press dedicated to preserving the environment, essentially making them an e-publisher. All the correspondence–and I mean all their correspondence–is done using the internet. There are no paper submissions, no paper rejection letters, no paper contracts. The trees are safe with Eirelander. The same goes for their format of publication. They initially put out their books in e-book format, which as you might guess from the news we hear throughout the literary world and literary agents galore is slowly gaining in popularity. They will, however, of course put out standard print after a number of sales of a debut, which is a phenomenal act of faith on their part given their moral stance on the environment.

Eirelander Publishing has two divisions–’Mainstream’ and ‘Heat’. They publish erotica, which falls under ‘Heat’, as well as the other genres–fantasy, horror, thriller, action, etc etc.–falling under ‘Mainstream’. The only genre they do not handle is nonfiction.

Another update: THE CAIN LETTERS will be released in December, so keep an eye out, readers!

Alexandra Glade and the Berith Lochem, the God-fearing vampire hunters of this age and the future, will be preying on you soon. Prepare yourselves….

(CUE IN MORTAL KOMBAT MUSIC)

Did you all have a nice weekend? Any parties going on? How about writing? You writers out there, working on your WIPs? Anyone stuck on Writer’s Block? Who here likes cheese?

Sorry, just trying to break the ice, start up conversation. You know…. (making hand gestures slickly) getting to know each other. Share our feelings (flips his hand).

(Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggggggghhhhhhhs)….

Don’t look at me like I’m crazy. You’re all wondering why you’re reading this meaningless drivel. What’s the point, where am I going with this, did I forget the laundry in the dryer, did I shave my cat’s mohawk etc etc. Seriously, you had to have expected me to go on tangents, right? That’s essentially what a ‘ranting’ is. And this is, indeed, a ‘ranting’. It is the BIGGEST ranting of all.

Okay, fine…. I’ll get to it. UPDATE.

Here we have an update. Yes, an update. Are you ready? Are you ready to taste my thunder? Feel the fire? Fondle the flames? Grope the gaseous fumes of literary essence? (sniiiiiiiifffffssss) Oh, yeeeaaaaaaaaaaaah….

Hey, look…. I see a blue bird talking to me in Chinese.

Okay, back to reality–

UPDATE.

So…. I had a particularly interesting weekend. SEE? I told you there was a method of madness to my ranting, talking to you all about how your weekends went! You need to trust me more. As I’ve said, I’m about to update you on my WEEKEND. Yes. My WEEKEND. How exciting.

So…. Here we have, yet, another update on my current manuscript, you know, the one that’s been in limbo for a kajillion years with two literary agents who will contact me about the book once I’m six feet under and swallowing worms. Yeah, called THE CAIN LETTERS, right? That one. Don’t roll your eyes at me.

I know you’ve just about had it with the updates . You want to hear something new from me. You want to hear that I’ve started a new Work in Progress. It’s been a year since I’ve completed THE CAIN LETTERS and not one word about possible publication or signing or anything. It may be as good as dead.

Well, this is to update you all, all you wonderful readers out there….

That Eirelander Publishing has just

offered me a 3-year contract

for publication.

Taco Supreme. I need to go throw up now.

(And Pierre has been crying, laughing, screaming, smiling and dancing in his own private world. Join me in the Irish Jig, everyone)

No cryin’. I promise. That’s how I roll, bebbies. I’m just here to present the music for y’all–you start the waterworks on your own, man….

For those that have been with good ol’ W.W. (Wretched Writer)  from the very beginning, you probably already know how much of a softie he is. Sometimes he’s a big baby! Don’t blame him, though….

Emotion is a strong force in writing, and it keeps him going. It reminds him of his dreams, all the loss, all the gain. Everything. Just like all of that drives him forward in his own life, so does his writing drive forward.

I imagine that’s mostly the same for any other writer. You need to tap into those private, deep, intense emotions–you’ve seen his rage already, yes, but you definitely haven’t seen his sadness. No.

On the brighter side, W.W. has definitely found his touch with that soft part of his heart a lot easier, because as many of you might know….

THE MORON’S IN LOVE!

Yes, you heard me. Love. Now me? I ain’t no middle-of-the-night ballad-playing DJ. My shit’s alternative, rock, hard rock, hip hop. Word. But to pay a little homage to our Wretched Writer, the king of the castle, the Lord of Tacos, the Purveyor of Pickle Juices…. Well, this selection’s for him. To remind him to keep writing, keep feeling. Keep moving forward. Enjoy, man.

The introductions continue, my friends–got another character sketch for you. This one’s an endearing sketch for me as it relates to me on one level. He’s not a ’super’ protagonist like Alexandra Glade or Kyan Tanaka. Nor is he simply a supporting character. On the contrary…he’s very crucial to the story of THE CAIN LETTERS.

His name is…

MARCUS BRENNAN

Born in Chicago, Illinois, reckless teenager raked with drugs, booze and some trouble with the law, Marcus then grew up a little to make his life something more than a ritualistic teenage cliche, finding God, joining the church Advent Divine and studying Youth Ministry in college. No longer a teenager, but a man, he hungers to understand the reasons behind evil, the reasons why we all fall into that stupor of addiction and sin–where it all comes from.

Being Youth Pastor of Advent Divine has its challenges for him, in that with his personality and his past comes a certain fascination for occult mysticisms and mysteries, vampirism, the supernatural. He adores those types of films as well…but he’s careful not to worship any of it. A man of God, he is: he only seeks to find an answer as to why the world is what it is. Man can face evil better if man can understand evil better.

Upon discovering an ancient text from a scholar living in Chicago, a man by the name of Theodore Strang, he’s suddenly thrust into a deadly race for his life, protecting this infernal manuscript for some strange reason, a manuscript later to be titled as THE CAIN LETTERS.

No matter how hard he fights it, no matter how much he resists–for his life remains in danger–he again hungers to seek the truth within the pages of that book. To find the answer. The answer behind evil. And how to conquer it.

Prologues and Epilogues: they’re like those fat-filled custard desserts that make you want to retch and moan with pleasure both at the same time. They’re delicacies; they’re also devious. Guilty pleasures. You feel the gluttony in you grow like lip crud, crystallizing into little nuggets on the sides of your mouth. You can’t help but either peel them away or eat them! MMM! Prologues, epilogues…. Prologues, epilogues….

Seriously, though–this topic came up in my head literally only 20 seconds ago. And rightly so. It sort of fits the topic itself, doesn’t it? Or maybe I need to explain.

Let’s get down to the nitty gritty. I nit. You grit. Prologues and epilogues are fun! They’re like teasers. For some odd reason, we take delight in teasing people. Drama aches in a prologue and epilogue because we don’t know exactly what’s going on.

A prologue is a scene preceding the actual start of a work of fiction/nonfiction; an epilogue is a scene following the actual ending of the work. Now take a minute to actually read what I’ve written here. Prologue precedes the start; epilogue follows the end.

DOES THAT NOT MAKE ANY SENSE?

OR AM I A DRAG QUEEN FROM HELL?

Unless my brain cells have morphed into lip crud, I can’t for the life of me understand how something can come before something starts. Or when something follows an ending. Naturally, when something starts, NOTHING came before it. Right? And naturally, when something ends…NOTHING follows it then. Right? So the concepts of a prologue and epilogue seriously defy logic for me. They tear the fabric of space time easier than the flux compacitor Delorean time machine. That’s heavy, Doc.

I admit, though: I’ve used prologues and epilogues before. I’m guilty.

For real, though, here are the possible consequences of using prologues and epilogues in your work. Quality writing practice usually goes around the ’starting late’ motif, getting into the story, getting your characters going. When you ’start late’, your reader’s automatically thrown into the mix and being pulled into a story that’s blooming both forward and backward–backward for a little background and resting place, and forward to keep the pages turning. The ‘backward’ gives the reader understanding; the ‘forward’ keeps the reader going. Essentially, a prologue delays that ’starting late’ wisdom. It essentially takes the reader longer to get into the story. That’s the possible weakness of adding a prologue.

In the same vein, when you end a story, you must tie up loose ends. That’s common law. I swear it. The House of Commons even passed a law on it. You break it, you die. No kidding (yes, I am). Usually, unexpected twists at the end are choppy, cliche, trite and even frustrate the reader on several levels. When you end your work…you end your work. An epilogue, however, can tend to delay that. How are you supposed to end the story if you keep going after you ended the story??

As I’ve said before, though: I’ve used prologues and epilogues.

The fact of the matter is, in the literary world, prologues and epilogues have been used with great effect contrary to the possible disadvantages. Just like everything else in the literary world, creative freedom is king.

So the question you need to ask yourself then is…. DO YOU FEEL LUCKY…PUNK? (Wrong quote, back up, back up….)

(ahem) So…the question you need to ask yourself then is….

DO YOU *NEED* A PROLOGUE/EPILOGUE IN YOUR PARTICULAR WORK?

(end of article. I swear. No epilogue here. Move on. Come on. Move on. GO!)

Talk about ‘road trips’ away from my proverbial palace of pallets of words and rantings at my Wretched Writer’s Pad! Sorry I’ve been gone awhile–really haven’t posted anything substantial for all of you, but I’m here in full force, about to grab some coffee. I’m ready. Let’s do this.

You know…I need to think of my own personal name for my ‘home’ here on my blog. The title I already have is kind of…well…long.

That’s sort of off topic here. Let’s get back on track. Updates. This is about updates. I’m updating you on my life. See, in order for me to get back on track, I need to let you know that getting back on track means reestablishing a center of being and order in my presence here. That reestablishment means to update you. Consider it also an explanation for being away longer than I usually am.

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First update:

SO…I came across other financial opportunities these recent days that help me develop as a writer. Fabulous, actually. Two days ago, right off the bat, I was given the assignment of writing four articles on the fly, delivered polished and pretty within 24 hours. Tight deadline. Bring it. I brought it. I done it. It’s done. More money means, well…more money. Even if it means staying up till 2 AM doing research and then writing out articles in super speed the next morning while at work (I was so swamped that I missed my lunch).

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Second Update:

You readers remember when I said that I was going to feature other authors here at the Wretched Writer’s? That’s right. It’s official. Authors Pat Bertram and Karen Cioffi-Ventrice will both be guests on the blog! That’s right. The Pierre that is me will have guests that they are in the home that is mine here on the blog that is known as “Writing and Reading”. Scary thought. That it is. Pat’s slated for April 3rd, so keep an eye out, people. She means business, and she’s rockin’ her publication world with a stratocaster and some mean riffs. Karen and I have yet to cinch a date, but that will come soon enough. I will host writers and other moguls of the literary industry from April 3rd to April 16th. It’ll be an exciting time.

Even better, look for me on Karen’s blog as well! And Pat’s! Can you believe it? Wretched Writer is going to enter other worlds. The world of THE CAIN LETTERS shall see new souls to swallow up…. Feel the evil, people. Feel the evil….

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The Third Update:

…Really isn’t an update at all; in fact, it’s a thought that popped into my head as a relevant topic brought on by Pat Bertram herself. The idea of being a ‘name’ in the literary industry. A…name.

Pat, I hope you’re reading this. Because you need to read this.

As much as I love Terry Goodkind, J.K. Rowling, Stephen King, John Grisham etc etc., being great writers and all, the concept of a ‘name’ does little for me in that the writing needs to swallow me into a different world–much like how the whale swallowed Jonah. Inside, I see all the inner workings of a whale. It’s a new world. Kind of gross. But new. And interesting. Whether or not they have a ‘name’, whether or not they make millions of dollars, whether or not they have private jets, whether or not their pictures flood the news and people scream names like “I love Bella!” or “I love Harry” or “I want cream cheese so you can spread it on my genitals” or WHATEVER–

DOES NOT MATTER TO ME.

What I love is the writing. I love the stories. I love the inspiration, the passion, the drive to write good stories. I don’t care if they’re bestsellers. I don’t care if others know about the writers I know. I don’t consider myself a fan. I consider myself an admirer. A colleague even. Because we’re all born of the same literary blood. We all have that same passion for words. We are kindred.

My enthusiasm for wanting to feature other writers isn’t out of the shock of having someone popular show up on my blog. No. It’s the ability to share a dream, a passion and to really know someone with the same desires as me that matters. Are we clear? Good.

Now I need my coffee. Taco Supreme, and I’ll see you later.