Writing and Reading

I think it’s about time I gave my two cents on this whole Query@Fail, Agent@Fail, Whatever@Fail thing, Fail@Fail and the unbelievably ingenious concept of the “Agent For a Day”challenge Nathan Bransford threw at us writers. I’ll admit it:

I have not read the whole Query@Fail Twitter thing that’s been storming the literary waters, nor have I even climbed over to the dark side and read this nasty Agent@Fail thing (the things I have read about the Agent@Fail thread have conjured sounds of wailing and hissing cats, catfight! catfight!).

Nor do I intend to read such banter.

Listen, readers: I’m definitely not saying I thoroughly enjoyed querying 100 or so agents and only getting 10 responses back, all of them negative, and another 50 responses only a year later with the rest sending me the sound of crickets in the weeds. Yes, I really did want to toss the computer out the window when after the 267th day I didn’t receive a response from said agent about my book.

But, seriously, lighten up, people. Come on.

Bravo to Nathan for the contest. Think about it. Let me put it to you this way–

Get on Facebook and check how many notifications and requests you have. Like the “‘Lil Eco Racer” thing or the “Green Patch” or the “Blue Cove” or the numerous amount of “SuperPokes”, flying cows and several belly dancers and thongs flying at you: you know you want to just literally BREEZE through all the requests on your profile, so you’re back to empty and don’t have to worry about them! There’s just way too many! It’s almost frustrating!

I mean, I think I have about 20 million GreenBucks now because I’ve neglected to buy those little Smurfie Whats-its Whatever-They-Are Gremlin Things.

Think about how a literary agent feels. I heard a year ago that prestigious literary agent Kim Whalen gets about 500 queries a day.

500. Queries. A. Day.

That’s insane. And I complain about my 30 Green Patch requests on Facebook.

Moreover, thankfully I didn’t even participate in the “Agent For a Day” contest Bransford put out, because I’d suffer aneurisms till I died. I already face edits up my anus hole and, yes, the Facebook request flood (they’re charming, really, but you should’ve seen my girlfriend on my Facebook helping me go through all the requests one by one), so even thinking about tackling queries as an actual ‘agent’ sent the lactic acid down to my knees and feet, preventing me from ever walking again.

It was awesome seeing the results of his contest, though . Nathan made an excellent point there.

So, seriously, people. Lighten up on the agents and editors of the literary world. Let it go. The passion should be the writing, not “getting others to like your writing”. That comes later. Writing comes first. And if no one’s liking or reading or even listening to you, just keep writing. Just keep writing.