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Archive for August, 2009

Aug 28 2009

It’s a Bird! It’s a Plane! It’s…GRAMMAR RIDDLE!

Published by roustan under English Stuff Edit This

Yes, yes, yes, it’s back, back, back! Sunday, Sunday, Sunday! The GRAMMAR RIDDLE, Riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle…………

(I always wanted to make that effect)

Long time in coming for another grammar riddle. I know. You guys are all saaaaad….

(SIGH).

First, since I got NO takers in offering an answer to the LAST grammar riddle, I’m giving the answer to that riddle for all you unconfident readers. (Have a little faith in your skills, come on!)

The answer is….

ELLIPSES

Easy, huh?

Okay, enough of the small talk. Let’s get down to business. Challenge to all my fellow authors…yes, all of you! Wink Show me what you got. See if you can solve this next edition of the “grammar riddle”. Ready? Here it goes…. (Oh, and remember - the answer is a specific literary device or form of some kind).

=================================

Hit Apes Invoking Killer Underdogs = Five Seven Five

(cue the sensual sounds of sweet music

of nature and the aroma of coffee shops)

THE END.

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2 responses so far

Aug 24 2009

Lyrical Madness

Published by roustan under Literary Industry Edit This

I will do many authors justice by posting this from Royal Blush Authors:

It is a warning. A very TERRIFYING warning. To all authors.

I’ll be quick and simple here. Many of you might have heard a small publisher known as “Lyrical Press”. It looks legitimate and ethical–they’ve got their policies down, they know their stuff, they have their morals.

No, they apparently do not.

These days, the way the industry is going, many authors are getting scammed or at the very least treated unfairly. We all know how much of an undertaking it is to write a book. We put a million pieces of our soul into our work.

It would make sense to honor that. So I urge all writers to…

STAY AWAY FROM LYRICAL PRESS.

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Aug 23 2009

Crotch Shampoo

Published by roustan under English Stuff Edit This

This is a very tasty subject for us writers. Of all literary devices, this one represents those fun, little pixie sticks that we can’t get enough of. We suck and suck and suck ‘em dry and then want more, then we get hyper, then we drop to our knees and go, “DEAR, GOD, I NEED PROTEIN!”. Then we sleep. A long time.

I’m talking about metaphors.

Yes, metaphors that can shampoo crotches. Not mine personally.

Let me explain the aversion that is a metaphor. They’re tricky. Sometimes sleazy. Think of a metaphor as a pixie stick (like I said before), and the words are the granulated bits of sugar that comprise the sticks and can stick to your skin and get all tarty (is that even a word…. ‘tarty’? I’m gonna look it up).

We, as writers, can sometimes have a problem with metaphors. My editor once pointed it out to me, too. The problem is sort of like an overindulgence. (I just looked up the word ‘tarty’, and it is a real word, but means something I totally didn’t expect!) It’s an overindulgence in writing it and using it.

Basic rule of thumb: keep them simple. Don’t try so hard in being ‘fresh’. At the same time, you don’t want to be ‘trite’. It’s called the “Goldilocks”. It’s sort of like a ‘dance’. The metaphor needs to be ‘just right’.

Just remember that when you’re trying to visualize a “piece of swiss cheese” up in the “backlit canopy with holes punched in it”, the “diamonds sparkling” in the sky and shining down on the “silky waves of liquidy goodness”–

(translation: the moon in the night sky with the stars shining down on the ocean)

You may shampoo my crotch now, Mr. Nicholson.

2 responses so far

Aug 19 2009

And So It Begins….

Lo and behold, I have begun the first few pages of the third installment to the REVENANTS OF ANARCHY series.

MALUMUNUS has begun. The darkness awaits.

It’s kind of nice to be writing again. Welcome change from the enigmatic blog writer I was starting to become. Now don’t get me wrong, readers–I’ll still be posting some doozies for you as much as possible. Alas, along with thy demanded doozies hath the rise of the novel come to pass. It begins. Be prepared–

MOOOOORTAL KOMBAAAAAAT!!!

(I know. Totally random.)

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Aug 15 2009

Eat Your Heart Out, Freak Quincy

Naturally, any post with “Freak Quincy” in it naturally spells one of those fun ode to roasts on the good ol’ W.W.

Well, fooled ya! This isn’t Freak writin’ here. This is ME. W.W. Or Mr. Pierre Roustan. There’s gonna be no making fun here Laughing. Sorry, Mr. Quincy. However, there’s a point to me pointing out Mr. Quincy in this fun-filled post.

Sorry, buddy. But I’m getting a radio interview. But NOT with you. Eat yer heart out. Munch munch.

That’s right, kiddies. September 10th, 2009, Barbara Hodges will be interviewing me through Blog Talk Radio, promoted through Facebook. More details to follow. I will be giving a special gift to a lucky, lucky listener. Yes, yes, LUCKY, LUCKY! THURSDAY THURSDAY THURSDAY! BE THERE, BE THERE, BE THERE! (Always wanted to do the whole monster truck announcer thing) 

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Aug 11 2009

Tears of Joy for the Stone of Tears

Published by roustan under Uncategorized Edit This

(gasp) …..

It is a truly ethereal feeling to have the air literally sucked out of your lungs as you stare blankly at the screen at the most beautiful sight, wondering if time will start moving again. For time has stopped in its tracks, and the workers have left the cars to marvel at the beauty that is….

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Aug 07 2009

Love is Everywhere

Published by roustan under Uncategorized Edit This

Writing and publishing aside, I have to stress just how powerful love can be. Let me broaden that assertion: life can be powerful. Emotions can be powerful. What we fight for and die for–all that can be powerful in ways we can’t even imagine.

I’ve seen more miracles in this short span of time since landing my 3-year contract with Eirelander Publishing than I have in my whole life. I’ve seen death. And then new life. I’ve seen hearts break and then get rebuilt by just a kind word. I’ve seen several people rise from the ashes to become even better than they already were in spite of the world’s suffering.

You see these three cats below? They are miracles. They remind us that the nature God created is utterly perfect. Simple, small animals like these are so capable of love. And we most of the time don’t realize it.

The one in the dress was named Noche. We called her “Princess”.

The other two were brothers. They fought a lot. The white-whiskered one was named Tuxedo, and the other was named Spooky.

Again, I repeat, they are miracles of life. They are the reason we keep fighting to be good at heart. To remember that hate corrodes us all and turns us into demons without any remorse. We’re better than that.

“Princess” was so young, yet so wonderful with her little babies; however, “Princess” had to leave. We still have the kittens. “Princess” had six. Two survived. They will give smiles that will last a lifetime for my little girls.

Tuxedo was the daddy. But he wasn’t any ordinary “daddy”. Usually, the good ol’ tomcat sort of goes up and leaves to hit it with another hot kitty. Tuxedo wasn’t like that, though. He played with his kittens, he loved up on the “Princess”. He never left them. Not once. They slept together, too.

“Princess” died trying to give birth to another litter.

The day “Princess” died, Tuxedo died of a heart attack. The stress of hearing her cries was too much for him. It’s tremendous to think that these animals were so intimate. They were.

Spooky is an entirely different story. But still a miracle. He was a bit of a ruffian. Like I said before, he and his brother Tux fought a lot. Sometimes over “Princess”. He wasn’t terribly nice with the kittens either. But something of a miracle happened to him: he slowly died of what we think could’ve been heartworm disease, before Tuxedo died.

Now let me explain this: to see Spooky waste away every single day wasn’t easy at all. In fact, it was horrifying. But in his time of dying, I swear to you…he made his peace with his brother. And he embraced those kittens as much as he could. He never stopped eating. And he was always happy to see all of us. Right up to his last breath.

These are true stories. They’re true because the evidence exists right in front of me. Two kittens, Rosie and C.J. They carry their mommy and daddy and uncle with them wherever they go. And with me, in my life–my girls’ lives, my lady’s life–they come with us, too. In the end, they never died. They lived.

nocha.jpg

tuxnspooky.jpg

2 responses so far

Aug 07 2009

The Pierre Generator

Published by roustan under Uncategorized Edit This

Now this is going to be a pretty cool post–courtesy of standard musing by my wonderful woman. You know those wonderful apps on Facebook? Lemme see if I can name a feeeewwwwww….

Mobsters, Vampire Wars, Dragon Wars, Sudoku, Poker, Blackjack, Scramble, Word Twist, Rollercoaster Kingdom (found out about this one about an hour ago). Facebook has become a planetoid of virtual go-karts and cotton candy made out of megabits, kilobytes and numerous graphical chat windows.

However, these particular apps I LOOOOOOOOOOVE. Actually, it’s technically one app, only several versions of it.

NAME GENERATORS

So here’s my extensive list of names that belong to me. Enjoy:

=======================================

My transformer name: Steel Charger

My Mafia name: Carlo Gambino

My Leprechaun Name: Stingy O’Donnell

My Pro Wrestling Name: Lex Striker

My Drag Queen Name: Pearl Necklace

My Silly Name: Loopy Gorillalips

My Halloween Name: The Terrifying Werewolf

My Rock Band Name: Sacred Holocaust

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Aug 02 2009

Quote of the Day: Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium

“Your life is an occasion.

Rise to it.”

- Dustin Hoffman

One response so far

Aug 02 2009

AHA! Houston, we have NO problem!

Macaroni Cheesy Meatballs, sweetness YAAAAYOOOO.

I am completely finished with my edits. The whole manuscript of THE CAIN LETTERS has been completely edited. I have a full second edit to go through (which should be a breeze, hopefully), and then an errata; and I’m good to go. Launch date secured: it’s a go. It’s a go. Go for launch. December 4th niner echo echo, charlie 2009. A-F-F-irmative.

So now the next adventure–I am finally going to tackle the next greatest challenge in my life. The third book. MALUMUNUS. Wish me luck. 

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