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Archive for September, 2009

Sep 30 2009

SLAM! Duh-duuuh-duh, Duh-duuuh-duh!

Published by roustan under Poetry Edit This

Check this: long time comin’ that I post a slam poem on here. Many, many slam poets bleed through the walls like angel mold and color everything with the prettiest blues and reds, their scents of succulence thickening the air and everywhere on chairs, stairs and all outside in county fairs where bears lurk in their lairs eating good ol’ honey pie. Mmm, mmm, mmm.

So I’m giving our good ol’ Saul Williams a break here. Visit some other talented poets out there who know how to spin a word and win a herd of listeners to bustle and hustle and ooh and aah and oogle and amaze their ears with their poetic peers.

This slam poem really kicks it. Digs into my soul. About real issues, about truth, about humanity. About what we know and how we grow, making all of us whole.

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Sep 30 2009

“Reputed Pitarder”

Published by roustan under English Stuff Edit This

No, I have not grown a tumor inside the language center of my brain.

No, I have not shoved a couple dozen cottonballs inside my mouth.

I promise you, I’m in my right mind (at least my definition of a ‘right mind’). And the title to this article does have a point. Yes, a strange point. Maybe even an incomprehensible, slightly maniacal point. But a point, nonetheless.

No, I’m not going to stop ranting. You can’t make me.

No, I’m not going to continue writing in sentences that start with the words “yes” or “no”.

I promise.

So the point to this post is simple: remember the segment on the blog entitled “Slipping in Dogmas of Solemn Wonder”? Yes, where I list a new, fun word mused by my inspiration, my lady. You see, she has a funny vocab. So, naturally, I take inspiration from her in creating these new, fun words.

This is a special homage to her. We’re going to go in depth into her language centers of the brain. Follow me.

To protect her identity, I will not reveal her name (unless I already have in the blog–memory’s kinda fuzzy), nor will I label her special ‘language’ anything. It is her language. She should be proud of it. I know I am!

You may now guess that the title of this post is indeed an example of how her language works. Pay special attention:

REPUTED PITARDER

Now–any normal human being would grace his or her ears with the presence that are these two words. Which don’t exist in the human dictionary. And such human will suddenly develop a hemorrhage in the pituitary gland, rendering such human a vegetable for the rest of his or her life. The reason being–these two ‘words’ don’t make any sense.

However, if you understand the special language (as I do), you will quickly realize that these two words are a mix-up of two NORMAL words you’d easily find in the dictionary (it also helped that she said “reputed pitarder” while doing something that put the two words in a context to help me understand).

This is how you translate:

REPUTED PITARDER = RETARDED COMPUTER

And there you have it. Now. Look at the translation, and you should understand better how to decipher her language. Make sense? Naturally, though, the mix-up isn’t as straight as, say, Pig Latin. Where you could actually write a dictionary on every single English word to translate. But you get the idea.

So with the intention to even better illustrate, I took two words on my own and tried to apply the code that she uses for her language. Here it is:

RIDICULOUS REFRIGERATOR

Now. Let’s see, if we apply the mix-up as correctly as possible, we should have a general idea of what she might say if she were exclaiming to the refrigerator about how ridiculous it is (maybe the refrigerator broke down, which oddly enough happened to us about a week ago–ironic).

…………. …. Here.

RIDIDGEROUS REFICULATOR

Fabulous. Just another fun way to play with words. Until next time!

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Sep 25 2009

Winner of the Facebook Contest for THE CAIN LETTERS!

Published by roustan under THE CAIN LETTERS Edit This

It was a lot of fun putting out a contest and actually giving a real person, a person I never met who–as far as I can gather–is NOT majorly involved in the literary industry, an actual copy of my debut novel. It was an existential, exhilarating feeling to e-mail that person with the PDF copy, my ARC.

Congratulations, Manuela Neuhaus! I hope you enjoy the novel. And I hope you stay onboard for the next three books coming your way. Thanks so much. Taco supreme.

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Sep 19 2009

Facebook Contest for THE CAIN LETTERS!

It’s go time now, people. Time to show the money. Not ‘actual’ money, mind you. It’s a figure of speech. It’s that good ol’ fashioned Jerry Maguire talk.

What I mean by the ‘money’ is that I now have my ARC, courtesy of Eirelander Publishing. Final edit is done. The final copy is complete. Which MEANS….

It’s go time for marketing and pushing my debut. It’s time to get the word out. It’s time to let people know that there’s another chilling novel out there worthy of being read (I hope).

Along with all the interviews dates I posted earlier on the blog, I just several hours ago started out an event on Facebook known as THE CAIN LETTERS Vampire Wars Avatar Contest.

Where I’ll be giving away a free copy of the e-book for one person.

The instructions for the contest are right on the Facebook link above; come check it out! It’ll be fun, fun, fun! So SHOW ME THE MONEY! If you do, I’ve got lots and lots of KWAN for you (courtesy of the great Cuba Gooding Jr., baby).

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Sep 12 2009

Nathan Bransford and the Wonderbar Stone

Published by roustan under Literary Industry Edit This

And this, my friends, is a testament to what it means to dive headfirst into the publishing industry, swim with the sharks, drown a little bit and then be proverbially resuscitated by the literary desire gods that keep us writers going through the deep blue sea of rejection jellyfishes and nasty octopus reviews of spite.

I bite my thumb at all of you, PUAA! (Just kidding! Wink)

Testament, you ask? What am I getting at, you ask? Does swiss cheese go well with ham, you ask?

Well, when I mention ‘testament’, I say it to ease the pain of those writers out there trying to live the dream, trying to nab that one agent, land that awesome book deal. The constant struggle, the toils of a new manuscript, and another and another! The endless pain! Dear, God, the pain!

Okay, enough pain. Time for the pleasure. Time for the joy. Time for the celebration. And acknowledgment of an industry that isn’t so…well…harsh. Instead of harsh, the word should be, simply put, HONEST. How about another word? HARD.

And with a good industry to be in, some of the best rewards come out of HARD and HONEST work.

And that’s really how the book industry should be viewed. It’s tough, it takes time. But, MAN, it’s worth it.

Case in point, Nathan Bransford, our lovable literary agent of plentiful blog posts about the industry, and just about the only agent I know of that says, “WHEN IN DOUBT, QUERY ME”. Phenomenal words, Nathan.

I point Nathan out for one special reason: we must celebrate, because the man has done what he himself considers a great achievement; he has written a book, after numerous rejections nabbed an agent, and, behold! (drum roll), he has also been given a book deal.

All I have to say is….

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Seriously, come on, let’s cheer! Come on, yeah, he’s an agent. He seems to be that bane we all sometimes whine at. But think about it….

He knows books. He’s known books for seven years. His bed is probably made…from books! He probably wears books for shoes on his feet! He lives books!

And, to his confession, he himself has started those wishful projects and has had them crash and burn. But he knows the industry, he’s worked hard in the industry. Naturally, he deserves that shot. After rejection here, rejection there, to hear that wonderful chime of Alleluia! Alleluia! is a beautiful thing. A beautiful thing.

This is not my point, though. My point is this:

The legendary Nathan Bransford himself had to toil over the troubles of writing the passionate novel. Think about it. That should tell you something about the industry.

Writing is a process. All of us go through it. I firmly believe that all those who embark on the writing journey don’t make it to publication not because they’re not good enough. They don’t make it, because either life gets in the way or they simply give up. If you have a passion for words, you have the potential to write literal works of art. No ifs, ands or buts about it.

Practice your craft. And never give up. Trust me. You’ll make it. Ask Nathan. He’ll tell you Smile.

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Sep 10 2009

Freak Quincy Is More Than Meets The Eye!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand we’re baaaaaaaaaaack!

And back with a vengeance, baby! Yeah. Or I should say REVENGE. Because, you know, the FALLEN feel it every day. They want to rise up! When they do, they’re more than meets the eye!

I have optimal prime juice mode for this song that the W.W. loves to listen to recently, as it specifically speaks to him regarding the REVENANTS OF ANARCHY. We’re talkin’ MAJOR headbanging, soul searching, stone-stabbing words of high honor and power and that fire making you burn with the desire to live on and fight, fight, fight!

Check this song out, watch the video. And you’ll know what I mean, kiddies!

ASSEMBLE!

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Sep 09 2009

Slipping in Dogmas of Solemn Wonder - “Dikdoowad”

Published by roustan under English Stuff Edit This

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand welcome to another edition of SIDSW, the Slipping in Dogmas of Solemn Wonder segment (formerly the Super Dictionary of Sadistically Imaginatory Super Words or something like that–can’t really remember).

It’s been a long time since I posted a new word. And here it is. Look for more of my classic post segments–

The word is….

DIKDOOWAD

Yes, that is the word. Dikdoowad. Funny-lookin’ word. But it’s a good word. There’s a lot of meaning behind it.

Thanks to my muse, as you know, the ever-present, beautiful, radiant, lovely, sweet-hearted love of mine, this is one of her words I’ve just heard her say.

Dikdoowad - definition: a slang term related to the standard vulgar term “dickhead”, only the connotation behind this word is suggested specifically behind the wheel during road rage. My lovely significant other is a road rager (and an attractive one at that). However, the catch is that this is a word that is used when trying to censor yourself among kids.

Because, you see, when she’s in the car by herself or with me, wonderful colorful words come out of her mouth when other cars cut her off. It’s illuminating to hear her (given how beautiful she is). But when the girls or our little boy Aidan are in the backseat, she censors herself. And she caught herself before she completed the standard vulgar term describing an inconsiderate vomitous mass on the road by saying the word “dikdoowad”.

It’s a handy word to have around.

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Sep 09 2009

A *Real* Quote: My Bella

“Oh! I heard of a mexican pizza.

Yeah, it tastes like mexican!”

My little Bella - Grand Rapids, MI

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Sep 06 2009

I Will Further Your Farthers

Published by roustan under English Stuff Edit This

My editor brought up something pretty interesting to me the last time we talked on the phone, and it got me wondering–

What would be the ‘correct’ English while editing a novel?

What I mean is–one, she pointed out how commas are used differently in different parts of the world that practice English as a language. I’m talking about dialects here, I guess. Even words like ‘farther’ and ‘further’. I never knew that some constituents of the English language never bothered to distinguish the difference between the two words. The word ‘further’ was used to imply distance as well as time.

However, I learned it differently. ‘Farther’ is used for distance. ‘Further’ is used for time.

That’s just an example, though. Since there are several, I guess (for lack of a better term) dialects of English (which is completely understandable now that I think of it), which one would we use, I guess, while editing?

I personally think the way we’ve been taught English is considered correct no matter how many minute differences there are. But should we hold to ONE way while we write and edit? Thoughts? Questions? Concerns? Compliments? Kool-Aid? Frankfurters? Anyone? Anyone?

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Sep 04 2009

Planet of the Interviews!

Okay, people. Quick post here. I’m taking a break from my errata this late at night to just update all of you on moments to read or even hear me in terms of promotions for THE CAIN LETTERS. Figured it might be smart to list it out here, give you a heads up:

On September 8, Penny Ehrenkranz will be interviewing me on her blog. On the 10th, you’ll have the privilege of listening to my lovely rants on the Blog Talk Radio with Barbara Hodges, 5 PM sharp. On the 16th, Sue Crowley will be interviewing me on her blog as well. The Love Romances Book Club will pick my brain in very sensual ways on the 4th of November. The luscious Mistress Bella will be interviewing me on November 8. And last, but not least, our wonderful friends at Joyfully Reviewed will take a bite out of my hide exactly on my release date, December 4, 2009.

I’m gonna be a busy, busy, busy bee. BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ….

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