Writing and Reading

You wouldn’t believe it (given how rock-hard, scuzzy cool I am!), but I am a bit of a…”schoolboy”! Here at the Taco Supreme 55.5, just like Mr. W.W. I love being in jammies and cute slippers, sitting in my room and daydreaming! (sighs) Daydreaming about all things that have to do with fantasy, the thrill of magic. Enthralled by toys! See? I’m a schoolboy! I need a beanie cap.

Honestly, it’s fun to daydream. It’s fun to remember what it’s like to be a kid again. That sometimes is the best part of storytelling. So check this fun song out. It’s relatively new, and W.W. loves it. Cheers!

Just as an homage to one of my little girl’s favorite characters on “Strawberry Shortcake”, I’ve titled this post in honor of the indomitable Rainbow Dash.

I don’t know who she is, though. I only hear her name about upteenth million times a day– “See Rainbow Dash, Daddy? Daddy! Daddy! Rainbow Dash is my favorite! Daddy, Daddy!”

I digress.

First off, let me just say a slightly belated Happy Halloween to you wonderful folks out there in Literary Land and hope you’re enjoying the verbal rollercoasters of ingenious books. And let me get down to business:

The topic of discussion is…. EM-DASHES.

My favorite typographical character. And also my worst enemy at times.

I’ll admit I didn’t know what they were for the longest time. To be honest, I really didn’t care. They just looked cool. It made the page in a book look like it was moving like water. Flowed.

What are they? This….

–

Two hyphens. Simple as that. And to see them used in the play of words is truly enjoyable. At least from my perspective. Naturally, became part of my style.

I know many of you know what I’m talking about. And you’ve seen me use ‘em liberally. Like shampoo–rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat. And there…I used it. Right in that last sentence–see that funny line? And there’s another one–and another one–and another one.

So here’s the skinny on the em-dash. And the fat on it, too. The general concept and feel of the easily overused but yummy and seductive em-dash is that it conveys a…dramatic pause. DUM, DUM, DUUUUUM. The eye skims over it and sort of feels the draw-out, up to the next word. Very effective when trying to up the intensity in writing.

Here’s the fat on it, though…. If you–use it–too much–it turns your prose–into–a–choppy–mess.

Again, every rule can be stretched. Some rules can be broken, Neo. There is no spoon.

So let me tell you of what I learned regarding when it’s great to use em-dashes and to feel free and expressing drama through them.

Read Edgar Allan Poe. And notice the many em-dashes. You know why?

Because that stuff was written in first person. And not full-length, full-blown, full-figured novel writing either. Simple short stories. Pointed. Quick. Usually confined to two or three characters in the story and very few scene changes.

The reason why em-dashes can be so effective with that particular type of story is simple: they convey thought. And it authenticates a human voice for you. Sometimes the second person is added in there to personalize it even more. You can actually visualize the person talking to you. And em-dashes convey some of those natural pauses we hear from other people when they talk to us. It’s real. Raw. No holds barred. And powerful.

Generally, it enhances character without really doing anything for the movement of the plot. Which brings me to the danger of using them too much.

If you have a strong, dominant plot,

em-dashes will slow you down.

Remember that. While they may enhance character and action and even dialogue, be sure not to use them so much that it drags down the plot and draws way too much attention to the narrative voice.

This especially goes for anything done in third person. Even in third, there’s still a narrator. An omniscient person telling the story. However, that person telling your story isn’t actually part of the plot! So be sure to not overdo that person’s voice. You don’t want that sticking out too much over the plot or the characters themselves. The imagery of what you’re writing may look good with it, but it’ll make it harder to read when readers are trying to follow the plot and engage the story.

Got it? Very good. Gotta love em-dashes. I have to admit, I do. But learning to control them and use them to your project’s advantage is a priceless tool and typically undiscovered gem of good writing. That goes for any literary device. Learning to control them and when to use them.

Pleased that you’re all still here after me missing so many days writing the blog, by the way. I love you all. Now I must go–and figure out who this “Rainbow Dash” is.

A long, long, long, long, long time in coming for another one of these fun-filled posts, and it is definitely about that time–while I wait for my chicken fingers to cook in the microwave in the middle of the night–to get one of these posts in.

Not to mention I’m as sick as a dog.

Come to think of it–why do we say ‘dog’? Why not any other animal? What about a dog signifies sickness? Why not…. “Sick as a Slug”? Because slugs are sick. Therefore the simile seems to strike more of a meaning.

Getting off subject. OKAY! So here, yes, wide awake, sick. As a slug. Slugging away. So I must post this video from our Nigahiga of YouTube fame. And then I bid you goodnight, goodnight. I love you. I embrace you. I fondle your brains with my words shaped like pigeon feathers. Tickle, tickle.

Enjoy.

This is a very special segment of “Eloquence”, in that these clips aren’t necessarily famous ‘clips’. No. What they are, are…. INTROS!!!!

You know what I’m talkin’ about. When you sit down in the movie theatre, and the movie studio logo rolls in, and you hear the build-up of the beginning music. Your buttocks tense up, you’re holding your popcorn, you’re terrifyingly excited. Juiced up. Ready for action. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, here’s three of some of my favorite intros of all time. I kept the range of taste broad here, too. Maybe one of these are your favorites, too. Enjoy!

Welcome! Been a long time since I posted a video on here. Nothing has changed much.

I promised a review on here, so here it is. Getting into the genre of vampires, vampire novels, we have Chris Marie Green’s NIGHT RISING. Enjoy!

Check this: long time comin’ that I post a slam poem on here. Many, many slam poets bleed through the walls like angel mold and color everything with the prettiest blues and reds, their scents of succulence thickening the air and everywhere on chairs, stairs and all outside in county fairs where bears lurk in their lairs eating good ol’ honey pie. Mmm, mmm, mmm.

So I’m giving our good ol’ Saul Williams a break here. Visit some other talented poets out there who know how to spin a word and win a herd of listeners to bustle and hustle and ooh and aah and oogle and amaze their ears with their poetic peers.

This slam poem really kicks it. Digs into my soul. About real issues, about truth, about humanity. About what we know and how we grow, making all of us whole.

No, I have not grown a tumor inside the language center of my brain.

No, I have not shoved a couple dozen cottonballs inside my mouth.

I promise you, I’m in my right mind (at least my definition of a ‘right mind’). And the title to this article does have a point. Yes, a strange point. Maybe even an incomprehensible, slightly maniacal point. But a point, nonetheless.

No, I’m not going to stop ranting. You can’t make me.

No, I’m not going to continue writing in sentences that start with the words “yes” or “no”.

I promise.

So the point to this post is simple: remember the segment on the blog entitled “Slipping in Dogmas of Solemn Wonder”? Yes, where I list a new, fun word mused by my inspiration, my lady. You see, she has a funny vocab. So, naturally, I take inspiration from her in creating these new, fun words.

This is a special homage to her. We’re going to go in depth into her language centers of the brain. Follow me.

To protect her identity, I will not reveal her name (unless I already have in the blog–memory’s kinda fuzzy), nor will I label her special ‘language’ anything. It is her language. She should be proud of it. I know I am!

You may now guess that the title of this post is indeed an example of how her language works. Pay special attention:

REPUTED PITARDER

Now–any normal human being would grace his or her ears with the presence that are these two words. Which don’t exist in the human dictionary. And such human will suddenly develop a hemorrhage in the pituitary gland, rendering such human a vegetable for the rest of his or her life. The reason being–these two ‘words’ don’t make any sense.

However, if you understand the special language (as I do), you will quickly realize that these two words are a mix-up of two NORMAL words you’d easily find in the dictionary (it also helped that she said “reputed pitarder” while doing something that put the two words in a context to help me understand).

This is how you translate:

REPUTED PITARDER = RETARDED COMPUTER

And there you have it. Now. Look at the translation, and you should understand better how to decipher her language. Make sense? Naturally, though, the mix-up isn’t as straight as, say, Pig Latin. Where you could actually write a dictionary on every single English word to translate. But you get the idea.

So with the intention to even better illustrate, I took two words on my own and tried to apply the code that she uses for her language. Here it is:

RIDICULOUS REFRIGERATOR

Now. Let’s see, if we apply the mix-up as correctly as possible, we should have a general idea of what she might say if she were exclaiming to the refrigerator about how ridiculous it is (maybe the refrigerator broke down, which oddly enough happened to us about a week ago–ironic).

…………. …. Here.

RIDIDGEROUS REFICULATOR

Fabulous. Just another fun way to play with words. Until next time!

It was a lot of fun putting out a contest and actually giving a real person, a person I never met who–as far as I can gather–is NOT majorly involved in the literary industry, an actual copy of my debut novel. It was an existential, exhilarating feeling to e-mail that person with the PDF copy, my ARC.

Congratulations, Manuela Neuhaus! I hope you enjoy the novel. And I hope you stay onboard for the next three books coming your way. Thanks so much. Taco supreme.

It’s go time now, people. Time to show the money. Not ‘actual’ money, mind you. It’s a figure of speech. It’s that good ol’ fashioned Jerry Maguire talk.

What I mean by the ‘money’ is that I now have my ARC, courtesy of Eirelander Publishing. Final edit is done. The final copy is complete. Which MEANS….

It’s go time for marketing and pushing my debut. It’s time to get the word out. It’s time to let people know that there’s another chilling novel out there worthy of being read (I hope).

Along with all the interviews dates I posted earlier on the blog, I just several hours ago started out an event on Facebook known as THE CAIN LETTERS Vampire Wars Avatar Contest.

Where I’ll be giving away a free copy of the e-book for one person.

The instructions for the contest are right on the Facebook link above; come check it out! It’ll be fun, fun, fun! So SHOW ME THE MONEY! If you do, I’ve got lots and lots of KWAN for you (courtesy of the great Cuba Gooding Jr., baby).

And this, my friends, is a testament to what it means to dive headfirst into the publishing industry, swim with the sharks, drown a little bit and then be proverbially resuscitated by the literary desire gods that keep us writers going through the deep blue sea of rejection jellyfishes and nasty octopus reviews of spite.

I bite my thumb at all of you, PUAA! (Just kidding! )

Testament, you ask? What am I getting at, you ask? Does swiss cheese go well with ham, you ask?

Well, when I mention ‘testament’, I say it to ease the pain of those writers out there trying to live the dream, trying to nab that one agent, land that awesome book deal. The constant struggle, the toils of a new manuscript, and another and another! The endless pain! Dear, God, the pain!

Okay, enough pain. Time for the pleasure. Time for the joy. Time for the celebration. And acknowledgment of an industry that isn’t so…well…harsh. Instead of harsh, the word should be, simply put, HONEST. How about another word? HARD.

And with a good industry to be in, some of the best rewards come out of HARD and HONEST work.

And that’s really how the book industry should be viewed. It’s tough, it takes time. But, MAN, it’s worth it.

Case in point, Nathan Bransford, our lovable literary agent of plentiful blog posts about the industry, and just about the only agent I know of that says, “WHEN IN DOUBT, QUERY ME”. Phenomenal words, Nathan.

I point Nathan out for one special reason: we must celebrate, because the man has done what he himself considers a great achievement; he has written a book, after numerous rejections nabbed an agent, and, behold! (drum roll), he has also been given a book deal.

All I have to say is….

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Seriously, come on, let’s cheer! Come on, yeah, he’s an agent. He seems to be that bane we all sometimes whine at. But think about it….

He knows books. He’s known books for seven years. His bed is probably made…from books! He probably wears books for shoes on his feet! He lives books!

And, to his confession, he himself has started those wishful projects and has had them crash and burn. But he knows the industry, he’s worked hard in the industry. Naturally, he deserves that shot. After rejection here, rejection there, to hear that wonderful chime of Alleluia! Alleluia! is a beautiful thing. A beautiful thing.

This is not my point, though. My point is this:

The legendary Nathan Bransford himself had to toil over the troubles of writing the passionate novel. Think about it. That should tell you something about the industry.

Writing is a process. All of us go through it. I firmly believe that all those who embark on the writing journey don’t make it to publication not because they’re not good enough. They don’t make it, because either life gets in the way or they simply give up. If you have a passion for words, you have the potential to write literal works of art. No ifs, ands or buts about it.

Practice your craft. And never give up. Trust me. You’ll make it. Ask Nathan. He’ll tell you .